I don't know how she does it. She should almost get an award. How is it that a 40-something woman needs as much attention as she does? If someone in the family is sick, she's somehow worse. If something aches, she aches worse. If she's having a bad day, she's having the worst. I have stopped feeling bad for her a long time ago. Feeling bad for myself is no better, I know this. I know everyone has stories of the "in-laws", but this woman belongs on meds. No really, she does. The funny thing about it is that she thinks everyone else belongs on them. She calls herself a giving, selfless person. I beg to differ. I actually believe she is one of the most selfish persons I have ever met in my entire life. I keep my mouth close, which is amazing. My own dad warns me that there WILL come a day that I no longer have anything holding words or actions back, and I will piss her, or even the rest of the family off. This is somehting I know, but still try to suppress.
On another note (which I know I'll bitch about her on this "other note" too), Adam just celebrated his 25th birthday. We had a cookout for him, inviting friends and family. I was thinking that family would leave around 8... maybe 9. No. They sat around til at least 10:30. The shit the m-i-l had to say was relatively minor, until I finally got to sit down and enjoy company. My own mom was sitting next to her, I on the other side. We were simply discussing what we thought the baby will be and she decided to ask me if she was going to be allowed in the room. This irritated me. I didn't know how to respond. I simply said, "I don't know what I want at this point. I had told Adam I would rather just go with my feelings when the time has come." She was mad. Why should she be. You DO NOT invite yourself into the labor and delivery room, EVER. With B, I felt pressured into letting her be in there. It bothered me for so long that I never really got to give her an answer, she just assumed I didn't mind. My true feelings is that I wanted MY mother and MY son's father in the room. That's it. No one else that wasn't the medical team. I was young, and it was her first grandchild, so I kept my mouth shut. My mother was an angel. Supported me when I needed it, sat quietly when I didn't, or when Adam and I were having a moment. I wont even go into the story about Adam's two sisters pulling up a chair directly across from my crotch. They at least kept their mouths shut during the WHOLE THING. This second child I want things my way. That's the way it should be, right? I just don't think I'm going to tell anyone I'm in labor when it comes to it! Well, except my mom, whom I'll maybe, just maybe, secretly leave in charge of B.
Ok, see, here I go on the m-i-l subject again. Back to the birthday! Adam had made "apple pie" (the alcoholic drink), and there was plenty of boose and beer to go around. Things were going pretty well, considering the whole thing could've fell apart at any moment, pending the m-i-l scene. Later on during the night, Adam strangely pulled me into the bathroom and was upset. He asked me to sit on his lap cause he was scared. Horrible things started going through my mind. He's cheated on me, he's gotten someone else pregnant, you name it, I thought of it. After what seemed like hours, he came out with it. Last week, Adam had suffered 3 heart attacks. I knew about the chest pains. In 4 days, the pain had come and gone 3 different times. I witnessed the worst of it when he could barely breath. Do you know how hard it is to get a 350lb man to the hospital when he's not willing? He finally went the 3rd time it happened because I cried to him for over an hour. By the time we got there, the pain had practically vanished. They hooked him up to the EKG, ran some blood tests and basically made us sit in a room for 2 hours. When they decided to discharge him, they had said there was only one test they hadn't gotten back and that his family doctor would call with the results, otherwise they felt it was apparently 3 isolated incidents. Adam had gotten the call when he was at work. He kept it from me for days. I was angry that he told me while he was drunk, that he waited so long to say something. Mostly, I was scared. I no longer know what to think. I have so many things going through my head, all I can do is stay optimistic. That's who I am.* I asked him to talk about it later. This was 2 days ago. I just don't want to think about it.
I don't want to get into last night's fairy tale. I will work up ambition to bitch and moan about that later.
* unless it's an on-going thing, such as the m-i-l ruining everything she can
